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Feeding Camellia

Once the Greyhound drove off with their daughter, Ralph turned to Camellia and said, "I'm moving out."

Camellia just walked back to the house and joined the Virtual Tourist forum. As Ralph hauled a bag of clothes and two boxes of mementos into their fifth-wheel trailer, Camellia chatted with 2naughty about night life in the Red Light District. As Ralph hooked up the garden spigot to the trailer's water tank, Camellia moved on to Delhi and nazur72. And when Ralph plugged in for the night to the outdoor socket by the garage, Camellia ate her dinner discussing Tasmanian cuisine with ozzified.

For the next three months, Camellia ate breakfast with geordie94 in Newcastle, lunch with klrwave in Honolulu, afternoon snack with ozzified, supper with nazur72, then flirted with 2naughty just before bed. Ralph worked, showered in the house, then bunked in the trailer.

But on Labor Day while on his way to a late shower, Ralph found Camellia slumped over her keyboard; clicking the mouse repeatedly on the big blue "e" and whispering, "Connect, connect, connect, c'mon connect." Ralph had to pry the mouse out of her hand and pin her down to turn off the computer. Then he called 911. The sheriff told him there was a DSL outage--36 hours so far--because someone hadn't called before digging.

So Ralph hauled Camellia and her suitcase to the psychiatric hospital. After checking her in he said, "You're a widow now."

"Oh, you're dead?" she replied. "Then can I have your laptop?"

Story by:

J.S. Graustein

submitted at 9:06pm

21 April 2009

J.S. Graustein's web: