A Good Education Pays Off
"Frankly, my Dear, I don’t give a damn," Harry said when Marcia announced the cognac he just downed was laced with rat poison. "I’m fed up with life. Being ultra rich is supremely boring."
"You’ll care in thirty seconds, when your stomach disintegrates," she said. "Meanwhile, here’s a new will for your signature. Take this pen and sign before you convulse."
Harry grabbed the pen and slammed it into Marcia’s eye. At that moment, the poison hit home, and he convulsed. That caused the pen to act like a jackhammer, pounding her eye a hundred times per second.
She died before Harry.
Minutes later, two rats ran into the room, grabbed the will and pen, and dragged them to their nest.
"What does it say," asked the illiterate rat.
The Princeton-educated rat put on her glasses and read the will. "Hey, this says the cat is supposed to get ten million. Gimme that pen."
The educated rat crossed out the "c" in cat, and replaced it with "r." Then it scribbled Harry’s initials.
"There. That makes it official. All we gotta do is put this in Harry’s hand and wait for the legal process to run its course."
A few months later, both rats were lollygagging around a beach house on the French Riviera, sipping mint juleps - or whatever rats drink when they’re fabulously wealthy.
submitted at 3:10pm
25 April 2009