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You Are Now Leaving. . .

Leaving AugurVille's not easy. Northbound it's slow, Westbound it's slower, Eastbound nothing ever moves because people know from experience every step forward is two steps back. You can go West quicker going East than you can go East and Southbound? Forget it, worst of all even if it weren't gauntletted every step of the way by Chamber of Commerce vigiliance officers, thick as thieves which generally they are. Listen, you think the Death Rattle Swamp, due South of Augurville, got its name by chance? There are snakes there bigger than the Worm Ouroboros and if that's not enough, their mothers and fathers. Alligators won't go near the Death Rattle Swamp if they can avoid it and unless I miss my guess - you don't have anything like so thick a hide.

You want to go South from AugurVille, your only hope is to sneak up on it indirectly: go North (sure it's slow, but it'll get you somewhere eventually); go West (if you've gone far enough North this leg of the journey should be speedy or - go East if you insist but don't blame me when delays prove unconscionable), then look for a road South-SouthEast (or South-SouthWest if you insist) that'll get you where you're going at a surprisingly brisk pace unless where you're going is AugurVille; arriving there's never easy.

Story by:

Martin Heavisides

submitted at 3:01am

7 May 2009

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