Dolphins Are Genuine
Frumpy Liz took a pill that turned her into a mermaid. Pleased with her new appearance, she went to join the mermaid community. Unfortunately, they rejected her, because she wasnít born in the ocean. Depressed, she climbed a bridge, intending to hurl herself onto the rock-filled water below.
Somebody called from the water. "Hey, up there. Why are you gonna jump?"
Looking down, she saw ten dolphins. One had a megaphone.
"Nobody wants me. I'm gonna throw myself on the rocks."
"Don't. Itíll hurt. You'll end up a gooey mess. Go to the other side where there ain't any rocks, then jump and join us. We're heading for Hawaii and Tahiti. We're gonna have lotsa fun."
"You really want me?"
"Thanks so much. You guys are great. Gimme a couple minutes to get to the other side."
When Liz climbed another girder, she called out, "I want everybody to know Iíve always been an ugly duckling. Nobody ever loved me. I spent all my money on a pill to become a mermaid. I thought once I became one, everybodyíd love me. But that didn't happen. Now I hate every-body. Nobody cares if I live or die. But these wonderful dolphins care. People stink! Dolphins are genuine!"
She spread her arms and jumped.
Half way down, she saw ten sharks removing their dolphin costumes.
submitted at 8:52pm
8 May 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 107 magazines and 30 anthologies.