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Violins and margaritas under the western sky

She was only known as M. The capos running the Western family only knew she worked undercover and appeared at meetings as a stout, shadowy figure in silhouette behind an ancient Chinese screen. Some said she was part Hispanic and part Native American. The only thing Don D.C.. knew was that she was all evil. The few that had defied her were usually found gutted or disappeared. M was not to be trifled with and all the mob bosses knew this. Tony "the driver" Tiger found this out the hard way. They found small sections of his body parts in packaged cereal boxes. Yogi "the Bear" Berroa's head was found in a picnic basket as was the head of his mob lieutenant, "Boo Boo". More rumors of M's legendary ruthlessness had it that Magilla "the Gorilla" Mangini's remains were served as food to various mob controlled pet shops in the Los Angeles area. Needless to say, both Hanna and Barbera got the message. When M said you drove a certain route, you didn't argue. Remember when hitman Gilligan went off route for a few drinks at the Bada Bing club? They put him on a little vacation tour boat for a three hour tour. A THREE HOUR TOUR! Yeah, Don D.C. thought to himself, I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender but M's plans were different. She wanted loyalty. I gave that to her. Now, she wants me to take out "the Artiste". He made me! The New York don had taken me under his wing and unified the unions behind him but the unions disrespected him and now he's taken on the big corporate bosses as well as the union leaders with mob connections. M sez I'm not just a big lug anymore and this "favor" will ensure me of safety and security in my old age. She said to remember how little Georgie "the Janitor" Blumenthal was just a soldier and how D. Denton "jumped" to her own horrible demise? She said, "little Georgie did me this favor when "The Lez" got too big for her britches. You get your rewards, too, Don D.C. when "The Artiste" suddenly disappears. Capiche?". Her sickly sweet voice sent chills down the "Surfrider!'s" spine. He knew failure to obey meant certain death....

Story by:

Ken Keegan

submitted at 6:01pm

29 March 2008