The Eyebrow Kid
I shaved the very thick inner halves of both eyebrows today. I feel proud, and when people stare at them, I lift my forehead, happy face, and then furl the half brows, sad face. I flick them quickly up and down, until the person is bored or sickened and leaves me alone. That's all I want out of life, solitude. It's surprising how dreams come true.
I apply Vaseline for them to grow back faster so I can resume another cycle of half brows. It works well with people who hang with me too much. They stay away, thinking I'm psychotic, but a sharp blade brings me peace of mind.
I'm known in town as the eyebrow kid, that lunatic half out of his mind, half an eyebrow short of brains. So if you see me, I dare you to stare at the two half brows.
You'll find me so repulsive you won't dare be my friend.
30 July 2013