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"Because," she stares at the muted CNN analysis of Obama's State of the Union, "I stuck my hand down your pants, and you didn't get a woodie."

The First Lady stands and claps for the Boston Marathon Bombing survivor at her side.

"So you think it's not working out?"

Ticker tape reveals 33% of Americans are currently enjoying a warm glow, 46% are ambivalent, and 21% are nursing blue balls.

She's silent.

"Well, I can only tell you what I feel. I am so attracted to you. I got nervous. I worry about. You could give me a hundred reasons why, and I would get it. But this one would make me cry if you really believed. I mean, I just. I am. So much. Do you want to try again right now?"

Story by:

Camille Pack

30 January 2014