You sit and you nod, even if you disagree. She tells you everything, some things are boring and some don't make sense. She says she'll call you, but you don't believe her. She says that right now isn't a good time because she's getting back together with an ex. You wonder if she knows how stupid that sounds. She says you're a good friend. With you she can share all her secrets. But you only care about getting in her pants. She mentions something cruel you said that she never forgot. It surprises you, the things she remembers. You never forget, you pretend like you do, but you really don't.
So you wake up and you're scared. You know what you're scared of, but you don't want to talk about it. You don't want anyone to know or ask how they can help. You keep it hidden inside somewhere deep, so deep that sometimes you forget it even exists. But it never leaves. It drives you mad. It makes you question yourself. Are you even a man? You're afraid that you will lose. That you will be rejected. That you will fail. You don't fight it. You don't accept it either. You just know it's there, along for the ride, waiting. Waiting for your move. Taunting you. Itching you to swing. To fight. To say something. You finally do. You grab a hold of it. Relax and hold still, this will only hurt for a bit.