Yeah, well, if I didn't know this was a joke I'd be climbing the walls. Janine won't stop blubbing. What's got into her? Her face's all weird. Not like normal: Bolshie, ready for a Barney, chin jutting out. I've never seen her like it. Can't put words to it.
Then it's that dream again. I'm in the front, driving. There's all sorts going on. Jimbo's just had a disgusting tattoo. We're all having a right laugh. Des shows us a picture of a scan. It looks like a bloody alien. I wouldn't be too keen to show that off. Jimbo said "yer wife's having a monster mate". Then, bang! The truck explodes.
I wake up and shout.
It's steam white. Then colours start bleeding through, and there's, like, a soaked up blue, like on kitchen towel and then it turns into curtains and a yellow blob turns into a head and a uniform and yeah, it's a nurse and she's smiling... she points to my legs she's changing dressings. She's fiddling about. Her face says "sorry". I say: "No worries. I can't feel a thing." She takes my blood pressure. I feel the pump thing squeezing my arm up tight. I think of Janine's blotchy moosh... and feel in the bed and find my cock and smile with relief, then my hand goes to the top of my leg and then there's nothing... just a big gap... and I feel for my left leg... and I. Can't. Stop. Yelling
6 April 2014