The Passion Of Cheating
They were married for about ten years and during that time he had about six affairs. She was willing to accept him back into her life time and time again. Finally, he couldn't live with the lies he created for her to live. He left. I followed.
I couldn't let him go he was my confidant and I could live bi-curiously through him. I was his friend, we were close, we shared a bond that seemed unbreakable. I was able to ask questions about what it was like to cheat. What it was like to feel the adrenaline rush through your body because you're afraid of being caught, I was able to listen and learn. I never thought I would be able to experience this until the father of my four children had decided to cheat.
What a bastard! He cheated, he cheated on me, and he cheated first, I was crushed. These were not the feelings of heated passion, blood pumping through every vein, moments trying to catch your breath. No, this felt like the end of the knife slicing you down the middle of your spine, someone grasping their large hands around your small neck, and your knees slamming on the cement. This was my bleeding heart.
Five years later I am able to feel the heat, to feel the passion, to feel the love. These feelings were never present between us. I understood why you had to cheat, now I only wish you understood why I had to cheat too.