The Gift Of Gold
It was a Thursday when O'Hara released the first golden nugget from his anus. He was to discover later that it was indeed a genuine 24 carat lump of solid gold, and that everything that came out of his backside thereafter would be the same, although varying in shape and quantity.
His metamorphosis into a layer of golden excrement surprised him beyond measure. Prior to the first, he had noticed that he hadn't had a bowel movement for over two weeks. He'd felt a great weight amassing in the depths of his intestines, unbalancing his centre of gravity, and causing him increasing discomfort. His nights were besieged with nightmares about pressure, strange languages and a landscape that folded onto itself in impossible ways. The first motion that carried the nugget to freedom was painful - but a colossal relief.
O'Hara died many years later a recluse, though his golden faecal art had made him famous and fabulously wealthy. His murderers, the nephew Sean and wife Siobhan, had determined O'Hara's secret and so cut him open to discover what lay within his bowels. The obsidian creature they found encased by O'Hara's guts had no eyes, but its mouth was wide and glistened with black liquid. It whispered words of madness and horror to the intruders, who screamed and clutched their chests in agony.
O'Hara's neighbours told tales for years of the screams that night, and how the autopsies of Sean and Siobhan had revealed nothing but hearts of gold.