Don't Mess With SETI
Blurp and Glurp were bored. "I got an idea," said Glurp. "Letís play a trick on those jerky Earth guys who are always sending stupid radio signals throughout the galaxy. Theyíre the laughingstock of the entire universe. Theyíre actually hoping somebody will answer their transmissions. Maybe itís time somebody did, heh-heh."
Using their dadís radio transmitter, Glurp spoke into the microphone. "Can anybody on Earth hear me?"
"Yes!" said an excited scientist monitoring a radio telescope on Earth for SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence). "Where are you?"
"This is amazing. We were starting to think no intelligent beings were out there. Youíre the first to contact us. Tell me something about yourself."
"Me and my brother love pepperoni pizza, but they donít make them here. Can you deliver an extra large one to us?" Giggling, Glurp turned off the transmitter.
The SETI scientist reported the Martian prankster to the FBI. They in turn notified President Striker. "Iíll fix that Martian wise-ass!" said Striker. He asked the Director of Space Exploration if they had any rockets that looked like pepperoni pizzas."
"No," said the Director. "But we can get one ready by tomorrow."
When notified the rocket was ready for firing, Striker hollered, "Eat this, you Martian freak!" Then he pressed the LAUNCH button. A few hours later, Blurp and Glurp were amazed to see a pepperoni pizza falling from the sky.
Unfortunately for them it was nuclear-tipped.
submitted at 3:42am
4 June 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 108 magazines and 30 anthologies.