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This Bar Walks Into a Man...

Once upon a time there was a bar of pig-iron whose rust moved a genie to tears. The genie wanted to grant the rusty bar a wish, which was only possible if the bar had a mind. There was no rule against the use of magic to provide such, so the genie gave the iron bar the ability to think and feel, and enough of a catalog of worldly experience to have plenty to think and feel about. Then the genie asked the bar what its one wish was. As Fate, or Kismet, would have it, one of the worldly experiences was the audio of the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons hit "Walk Like a Man." "I want to walk like a man/Talk Like a Man," the bar told the genie. "It shall be so," the genie answered. And the bar's shape changed, much like that famous drawing of the stages of Man, until he was truly and anatomically correctly Walking and Talking Like a Man.

The genie, feeling magnanimous, offered the ferrous humanoid another wish. "I want to be Heavyweight Champion of the World," he said.

And that's how the world came to be home to Iron Mike Tyson.

But that can't be right. Tyson doesn't talk like a man. He sort of sounds like a girl.

But he didn't always.

But that's another story...

Story by:

Gary W Bowers

4 April 2015