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Get It Right Next Time

"Welcome, Victor. Do you have your papers?

"No? Well, no matter, there will be time for that later. Are you a jumper, a slasher or other?

"Really? We don't get many of those nowadays. I expect it's all those ready-meals and microwaves. I can't remember the last time we had an oven-head.

"What? Yes, well you must forgive us our little joke. It's no fun dealing with you people, really!

"Now, let's see. White Anglo Saxon Male, wasn't it? Well, I'm afraid we don't allow consecutive ethnic choices. What about having a go at Asian?

"No, I'm afraid I couldn't guarantee Upper Middle Class in Tokyo, no.

"How about an untouchable in New Delhi? Not keen on menial work, is it?

"We've placed some very nice returners in Africa. Kalahari bushman suit you? Ahh, I see not.

"You do understand there is a quota. I couldn't possibly offer you a male incarnation. No, it will be a female lifetime this time.

"There, there, crying won't help. All you've left me with is, well, Kabul? No? Jeddah, then? Right! Raqqah, Syria it is. Now if I can trouble you for a thumb-print... What? Ah, well a little practice for illiteracy. Get in the spirit of things, as it were.

"Now, I don't expect we'll be meeting again. There are no more chances after this one.

Yes, well, goodbye...


Story by:

Ewan Lawrie

25 October 2015