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Halloween, 2004

The Plan was going perfectly and then Halloween... I hate myself. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I wasn't supposed to get stupid over women, but I got stupid over her; I won't can't call it love—to name it is to give it life, and to ultimately to give it power. I just call it loopy; my Japanese is shit; I don't sleep well at night; I sweat more often; most of the time, I'm confused. I kick and rant in my head when I walk home from drinking from downtown - a nice hour walk to save on the cost of a taxi. I tend to be more of a screw up than I usually am. I sneeze and no one says bless you in Japan. I'm getting skinny and fat all at once. I think about her way too much. Skinny because Japanese portions are small, fat because I've stopped doing my ab workouts and all I eat are potato chips. I'm starting to get a beer belly. I don't even drink that much, that's the sad thing. Women seem to fall out of the sky and into my roommate's lap. Damn it sucks. I mean love. In class I discussed the proverb: "You can't love and be wise." I countered that a wise man understands his own love. It makes sense, it makes so much damn sense, but no man in the universe ever took the task "know thyself" serious and lived to tell about it.

Story by:

Daniel L Clausen

16 December 2015