Another monday morning
"Oh bollocks, love I forgot the teabags", my voice echoing through the kitchen.
My wife replied in a vigorous manor "Well go bloody get some; Iím dying for a cupper".
I walked to the nearest shop, which was approximately 5 minute walk away, through a tunnel. I left my front door open knowing Iíll be back soon, I screamed "I'll be back in a bit" and then under my breath I whispered "lazy bitch" due to frustration of walking for a lousy cup of tea.
I walked through the darkened, graphitised tunnel not looking up and there was a statue leaning on the wall. I looked up and all of a sudden I felt naked. The guy stripped me to my birth suit and then brought out a packet of jelly babies and then moistened them and through them constantly until.
My body was green and I had an oversized hand and my head had no hair.
I turned into a big fat green jelly baby.
I looked around, that bastard disappeared and I found I couldnít walk properly. I had to hop to the shop, past the tunnel and then buy the bloody teabags.
It took longer than expected and I was 40 minutes late for work. I got into my street and there were no houses. Apart from One. The house opposite my wifeís house, which had a big green bird house.
I was bollocked, I screamed and then all of a sudden blew up into a pile of green goo.
submitted at 11:05am
2 July 2008