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Swallow Tuft and Brimstone

Lorelei Loadstar, a polemicist and rhetorical nihilist, was knouting patriarchal tradition with Freda Kahlo, when the phone rang. It was William Morris. Could she come round and use her Circean charm to get rid of Kaffe Fasset for him? He'd called in to tessellate, he said. But he'd helped himself to his homebrew and was now completely wankered.

- That's echt Fasset, Lorelei said. Give him some strawberries and ersatz cream direct from the can. And I'll be there in a jiffy, she suggested.

- Freda darling, I'm going to have to do a Pansey Potter at my socialist designer friend's. You'd like him. He's a dialectical materialist, but don't let that put you off. Why, of course, you had that thing with Leon, didn't you?

- Ne plus ultra, Lorelei, replied Freda. Ne plus ultra.

- Whatever did Kahlo mean? thought Lorelei, as she squeezed into her boob tube minutes later. She'd have to ask William.

Story by:

Phil Doran

submitted at 12:11am

13 June 2009

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