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Committing a Foe Paw

When a Foe Paw comes to your house and starts to menace you, here's what you must do: Herd the Foe Paw into a place it cannot escape from - preferably behind a refrigerator or stove. With a spatula, pummel it many times upside the head, and ensnare it in some cord. Keep it tightly bound so it cannot run away. Afterwards, dump it into a food processor and grind it up. If you hear the Evil One crying as it is being chewed apart, show it no mercy. Continue to pulverize it for as long as necessary, until its screams subside to a whisper. Do not be fooled! At any moment the Foe Paw may jump out of the food processor and whack you about the head with the same spatula you used to attack it. Once it is reduced to powder, you may drive it to the nearest asylum to have it committed. But be ever on your guard. If the Foe Paw gets the slightest chance to escape, it will madly dash down the street.

Story by:

Ellen Lindquist

submitted at 8:37pm

26 June 2009

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