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The Ransom

"Iíll meet you at the Blood Bucket, and you better bring the money with you, or your wife is dead. Got it?"

"Yes, I understand," said Mr. Pennywhistle.

Ratcliffe watched Pennywhistle disappear into the shadows. "Spineless maggot."


"What do you mean he didnít show up?" asked Captain Hornblower.

"He was supposed to be there by midday, but I waited well past nightfall, Captain," said Ratcliffe.

Hornblower climbed down into the hold. "Mrs. Pennywhistle, your husband has not brought the ransom. Why do you think that is?"

"That cheap little son-of-a-bitch! Iíll string him up by his balls when I see him again. How dare he leave me in the custody of filthy pirates! When I get my hands on him..."


"I finally got rid of her," Pennywhistle said to the half-naked wenches attending him. "I canít believe Iím finally free!" He sipped his drink, and with a lecherous smile he grabbed one of the women, pulled her to his lap and began kissing her neck.

"IRWIN POINDEXTER PENNYWHISTLE!" he jumped up, spilling his drink and the woman onto the floor. "How dare you keep company with trollops while I suffer at the hands of pirates!" Mrs. Pennywhistle grabbed a broom and chased her husband around, beating him on the head.

Spying through a window, Captain Hornblower and Ratcliffe laughed until their sides hurt.

Story by:

Paul Ingrassia

submitted at 6:14pm

4 July 2009

Paul Ingrassia's web: