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Sometimes the truth has yellow teeth and you hate it when it smiles at you. When you live in a lucid dream and free will brings nightmares. I had a dream last night that I told a midget to grow up and after I woke up, I still felt bad. I ate a bowl of dry Lucky Charms for breakfast and shocked myself every time I touched a doorknob.

While waiting for a train, I met a man who experienced déjà vu for six years straight. I asked him what it was like and he told me that everyone's breath stunk. We passed by a blind panhandler wearing a tuxedo and thought it was a scam until we saw him petting a rat on a leash. I smelled something burning and turned my head and found an overweight man masturbating to a picture of a treadmill.

I got off on Fourth Avenue and walked three blocks in two minutes without missing a single step. I knocked on the door and when she answered, I told her I loved her. She told me I was really cute but my breath smelled like white out.

Story by:

Lucius Rodin

submitted at 12:00pm

16 December 2010

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