Move your mouse over here!
Previous page


I never told anyone. Pothugger, Sexual Abacus, Academic Christmas, Fish Penis, Neek - these were our names. I swear, I never told anyone. The whole idea came from Fight Club - you know the movie, the one everyone's seen five million fucking times cause it's so fucking fantastic. It is. Well, Neek ran with the Project Mayhem idea and thought we needed a cause too. But we were so much more than that. What we did impacted lives, it was a catalyst for change. It's ironic really- a fucking band of fucking no-goods decides to finally dedicate themselves to a more than worthy cause and fucking justice is shoved down their throat like expired whiskey at a fraternity initiation. Keeps me up at night, I swear. Now Jimmy's in a pine box and Fish was fried like a Sunday dinner platter at Cracker Barrel. Not Abacus though, he's still alive somewhere wearing an orange jumper with 92317 emblazoned on the back. Jesus Christ. Not him - God only knows where he is. If he is. We never meant to get caught. Ever. We were sworn to secrecy just like in those prepubescent fantasy novels that dribbling kids can't put the fuck down. Now two grown men who always needed a shave are dead by 35 - what the hell? I never told anyone. The only reason we ever even got in so much trouble with the "authorities" is because it involved dead hookers. And lemmings. And maybe the mayor's desk. Looking back, I really wish the lemmings had been dead instead.

Story by:

Allie Coker-Schwimmer

12 July 2012